|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
JOURNAL #1- DATE UNKNOWN
"For the Understatement of Mentality"
My new gas can to tell you now what the freak get the oxygen tank
pucker the fucker to kick the end of the time when the world almost
ended due
to naturla tendencies of the mother fuckin assholes of the bitch.
Today we embark
on a mission of the search for finding the truth as to whether
it i s clear to understand the existence of natural phenomena toward the
purification as well as manifestation of the untold truths as to whether
earth shall
forclose the necessities of telephone wire checkbook sucking easter
egg huntiong
turmoil sniffing bastard hole mother fuckers. Forever we shall
investigate
the malicious power against we which will fight our war. Not just
any war, but a personal
war. One in which we must look deep within ourselve. Listen! I'm
telling you
what's going on. Before you know it, there wont be a chance to
take
your actions back. It was on this day, 17 years ago, that we achieved
a higher greatness of humanity. Because of those 43
people we now have achieved a higher state of being. We can only
wonder
what kind of accident will happen in the future in which we will
become godlike.
It is by these accidents (although they sometimes are achievements
as well), that we will
further our species as human, and our duties as matter. The equation
for
achievment is determined by the common factor which affect our
daly lives. These common
factors include, but are not limited to: food, digital home
electronics, keyboard wrist pads,
CD-burners, gold wrist watchse, pancake batter, electrical outlets,
and cardboard box worlds.
The analysis of these common factors includes: individual discriminatory
priveledges,
personal cooperation of system, assistance with making the food,
an DJing. Anyone who
is willing to begin undertaking this task please call 1(555) ME-4-WORK,
or send check
or money order to the address you see on your screen:
<Picture of blue screen on TV>
I Want To Assist (IWTA)
PO Box 1774
Gulliver Lakes, CA 95133
The stupid kid saw the picture on the screen, and rushed to the
phone and dialed the number. But
on the way to the phone, the kids mother said that there was food,
so the kid ran and ate the food
because he liked food. If only had made it to the phone and dialed
the number, he would be
alive today to enjoy food. While the kid ate the food, some other
kid somewhere went and dialed
the number. And now that kid is a millionaire, and the kid with
the food died of a sudden
meteor shower on his house. Oh yeah and the mom died too. Then
the kids dad saw that his wife
and kid had been killed by a meteor shower. The dad so oh well
and went to the strip bar and got
3 lap dances. And they all lived happily ever after...except for
the wife and kid because they
died, so they werent happy...and i guess they didnt live either...and
i guess they didnt live after, because they dint
stay after...and they werent alive. Therefore, they were all sad.
_________________________END PART ONE_______________________________
_________________________BEGIN PART TWO_____________________________
And now an analysis of the symbol '&'
<a little bit of laughter>
That's right, i am going to analyze the symbol '&' which i am
typing
what you see on the screen.
<A little more laughter>
Seriously! <laugh>
<more laughter>
Well whether you guys believe me or not, here goes my analysis.
<laughter dies down>
Anyway, the symbol '&' is sometimes known as the "and symbol,"
but
when i think of the "and symbol," i think of a character '+' Now
I know, some of you are thinking
that a '+' is a "Plus sign." while that is correct, it is unfare
to think of
a '+' as simply a plus sign. After all, the '+' character represents
many other
things than scalar addition. After all, the '+' character also
is used in
chemical formulas to demonstrate chemical reactions. Observe:
<Switch to view chemical reaction written on a chalk board from some old scientist-looking guy>
02 + 2H2 -------> 2H20
<scientist explains reaction after writing it:>
This reactions demonstrates how 1 part of oxygen gas mixed with
2 parts of
hydrogen gas for 2 parts H20. (By parts i refer to number of molecules
as the
quantum, not as some mass value low enough as to where the mass
of subatomic
particles may be expressed as multiplicants of some quantum.
<Crowd boos because the old scientist guy is a dork>
<host jumps back onto the screen, and starts talking>
OK, OK! I think weve heard enough, you guys dont want to hear about chemistry?
<Crowd agreeement>
You guys want to hear more about the symbol '+' dont you?
<Crowd yells NO!>
What? you dont even want to hear about '&' ?
<crowd yells NO!>
ok, ok ill give you what you want. HARDCORE NUDITY!!!!
<everyone in crowd cheers, switch to porn>
<fade to commercial as the porn begins>
_________________________END PART TWO_______________________________
_________________________BEGIN PART THREE_____________________________
Ok enoough of this saturday night live shit. Now i want to talk
about
something serious. i want to talk about the problems of kids smoking
marijuana. when them kids smoke their marijuana thyre not realizing
the truth about whats going on. sure sure, getting high MAY "enhance
your
mind" and it MAY make you relax, calm, non violent, and passive,"
but
theres one side effect that many of dem kids dont know about...Audibility.
Yes, marijuana increases your audibility. Without audibility, you're
lost. You
have nowhere to go. You have no one to see. You have nothing to
understand. For
sure, you must wear a pair of socks which dont match. Only in something
this crazy
will you be able to exist in a state of low audibility. In addition,
it enhances muscles
347, 368, 772, and may promote bone gowth in sections 317-A, 317-B,
317-D, and 344-A. Muscle
enhancement is detrimental in audib-
<Andrew and Ryan interrupt the old redneck>