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JOURNAL #39- 06/26/2002, 22:07
"My thoughts on everything"
-------------
I want Katie. I want her so bad. I just can't stop thinking about
her. Every day, several times....sometimes its just about how much
I like her, and sometimes its about all the things I want to do
with her and that gives me raging hardons all the time.
How should I go about letting her know how I feel? I need to do
it.
I can't just ignore it or not do anything about it like last time.
Its so crazy to think that just a little over a year ago she may
have felt this way about me...I sometimes wonder if she ever touched
herself while thinking about me...I don't know if she does that...she
doesn't seem like the kinda girl who would, but you never know...she
may be the kinda girl who does it all the time (kinda like im the
kinda guy who deos it all the time...that is until i stopped just
over 2 months ago...now thats all crazy to think about how i havent
masturbated in almost 2 and a half months)
I bet she's a giver too...God it would feel so good to fuck her...
i bet shes nice and tight too...
But none of this helps solve my problem. should i use what ive read
in the guide? I should think about this using free cell strategy...
try to see every move on the board and its result...
Right now im waiting for a call from her...if she does call,
there can be 2 possiblethings she would say..or better yet, there
are 3 possible situations:
1. We're going to play pool, this day this time, with ?, etc...
or
were going to do something else, etc.. This is cool. if she
does
this then ill be meeting her in person and i can continue
my pursuit
there.
2.If she just says no about pool then i should tell her that she
should come out to the bar with us (probably Kyle and Sean) one
night.
3. If she just doesn't call, then after a week or two I should
invite
her out some night with the guys.
Now when i hang out with her, there can be three possible scenarios,
each
of which I must think through periodically
--
ASIDE NOTE: The concept of setting goals and thinkking each step
through is
fucking great!!
--
The three possible situations are:
1. Me and Katie hang out with our classmates or her roommates or
other people
2. Me and Katie hang out with Sean and Kyle or Rob or shit maybe
Janine too
I need to account for that factor too...or maybe I should ignore
that factor)
3. Its just me and her.
Now here are some things which I must do when I meet with her, in
any
of the 3 cases:
-Keno, keno, keno...I may not believe everything the guides say,
but I do
believe this one. Touching gets attention and shows affection
-Smile a lot...she doesnt smile that much on her own...so if she
immediately
responds when I smile at her then I know theres she feels some
attraction (I'm
pretty sure she will respond because I'm pretty sure she does feel
someting)
-If at a club in downtown, ask if she wants to dance. Thats sure
to score some points
-Don't drink too much...drink a little, try to get her to drink
a little...
we'll both be nice and loosened up which I know would herlp me
and I know helps
her (yeah I remember her putting her arm around me at the club
that night)
--
ASIDE NOTE:
That time on the beach when I was hitting on that blond soccer
chick from sonoma
(I cant remember her fuckin name) where did I go wrong?
Probably because I never showed any interest in taking it farther...moral:
at some
you gotta get a conversation going about them...their lives, their
friends, their
family, anything...and make sure to ask some question which requires
emotioinal
response...gotta look that shit up...
--
--
ANOTHER ASIDE NOTE:
I gotta control my attituted...I shouldnt waste my time thinking
about the
guy before...If it does come up I should put in some kind of hint
that I
like her, or that she would be much better of with a guy like me
(i.e. Me)
She wanted me before she even met this guy, so now that she hates
this guy,
she probably is going back to what she wanted before (i.e. Me)
--
Other notes which apply to any type of meeting situation:
-look her in the eyes when talking to her more often than I normally
would look into her eyes. Also when smiling at her look at her
eyes
If meeting with friends, either hers or mine or classmates or my
roommates
or whatever, make sure to mention that I'd like to do this again,
and preferably
strongly hint that I'm reffering to just me and her alone.
If in any case of meeting situation (mainly the 3rd, but also can
occur
in the other two situations or at another meeting, like at the
end of the
night), and I end up alone with her, then this is what I need to
do:
-This would be the time where I can ask about her ex. Whatever
the case was,
I need to make sure that I mention that I'm not like that, and
also to tell
her that I can be there whenever she needs me for anything.
--
ASIDE NOTE:
always remember- anytime someone tells you that they like you,
its very
flattering.
--
Other things to do/say when alone with her:
-Tell her that I really like her, ask her if she wants to be more
than just
friends
---------
Welll im about to crash...I'll definitely need to read over this
tomorrow (maybe at
wrok when im bored :)
---------
Final thoughts:
-Im high, so high I almost touch the sky