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JOURNAL #62- 10/06/2003, 23:41
"All mellowed and shit"
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I've been stoned for a little while now. And nice and mellowed out, not full on fucking baked, but nice and mellowed. gotta get up early tomorrow for class and to finish that shit up, but ill do irt

Hold on, gotta check out the Elizabeth pictures and see which ones should stay and which should go

All right i guess theyre cool

Anyways this Friday i face a dilemna...a case of getting sex vs. ensuring my continues single life.

Its like Id have a great time having sex with her and everything, and like an ok time hanging out with her


Pros / Cons:
The pros wil be deonted with ap lpplus sign, the negatives witha minues sign


+I get sex
+chance of convining her to give me a blow job
+- (neutral) I have an OK time hanging out with her
-I miss an opportunity to party with other friends
+- I have entire place to myself
-Missed opportunity to hook up with Katie
-(BLATANTLY BLUNT COMMENT) Slight chance that I may end up falling for this girl, which I really don't think I want and know will lead to bad things in future.

IMPORTANT FUCKING MESSAGE TO SELF HERE:

Rita is not "the one" And no there isn't an part of me here that actually feels she is...its more that im worried that i meay convince myself that she is even though shes not. If its like a month from now, i hope im reding this going damn that was fun while it lasted, but im glad i got out now.As of right now i feel im on a good pace as far as not overseeing her...stupid fucking society's attitudes towartds dating...make it seem like im an asshole for not calling her often, or for fucikn sending her calls tovoicemail, im justified in not wanting to talk to her or see her that often...we never committed to anything...geez fucking women are crazy...shit thats something i dont think ive written about much in this journal...i should rant about the female species (yeah i guess i do this too often, its kinda fucking lame.i just gotta whack off in a little bit to ease some strain doiwn there....

in closing thoughtsa about the Rita situation....remember:

One year ago youi would have been dieing to be in a situation where you cant decide which chick youre going to try to hook up with ona friday night...well theres some fucking bullshit that yoou gotta deal with and its not all fun and games....

man it would be great to hook up with katie...not just in a sexual way but an emotional way as well....note: dont rush into "falling" for her. if something does happen be sure to keep it slow at first

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