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JOURNAL #67- 11/01/2003, 23:39
"fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck"
-------------
oh fuck me, this sucks
dammit this is a shitty situation
bad terms....these are becoming bad terms
but then again, im gearing out of school as my hunting grounds
but my apartment complex is also a part of my hunting grounds, and that is
not in good shape
interesting that Andrew would say "Heather's friends" and not "friend"
fuck goddamiit
this shits gonna be bothering me for a while, i need to come up with a way
to handle the situation while maintaining an apathetic nature. What i need
is a story and damage control lines for if the story fails. the damage control
lines will involve stories as well, though all stories shoud be...
fuck i shoulda come clean with her today. it was my chance and i fuckin blew
it. i pussed out. if ya wanna live the life of a player you hafta be willing
to go all out sometimes. she knew all along probably...
thats it
diana lives with Heather. Heather is friends with rita??? but what about
that shit with the dorms...fucking diana blabbed to me then blabbed back
to her roommate.
but shit...i actually am right on this...we never stated the status of our
relationship.
.
.
.
.
anyways, ive got dirt on mike and steve
ive gotta say to kimberly what ive been meaning to say. this could work...but
there the situation with tyson as well.
theres a lot of shit going on that im not seeing...i know there is. ican
feel it. but then again theres a lot of shit going on that i am seeing that
others aren't.
well i maintained for a long time in my head that i had convinced myself
that i didnt regret the whole rit thing. now i cant even hide that from myself.
no doubt in my mind...mistake. shouldn't have done it
well from now on i think things will just be awkward when we see each other,
and she'll be talking behind my back to others about me, but I'll justhave
to live with that. i hope this doesn't spread too far, which goes backto
my damage control thing
shit with my friends the best damage control lines will be to just say i
dont want to talk about that, and that i dont need to say anything about
it
shit i failed the night that i invited her to the club. that was the first
real mistake i made. if i had found a way to end it that day i could have
avoided everything, except the damage to the idea of using the building as
my hunting groudns.
gotta be carefule with diana...if heather really is her roommate then that
could be a major leak. but thats still strange; there might be another connection
between diana and heather. maybe dianas roommate is heathers friend or something
i dont know.
fucking girls
ruining everything. god dammit i hate women
i stand by my belief of women having no fucking logic. understanding why
women do some thing is a fucking mystery.
now im going to really get some deep down shit off of my chest...this is
the shit that id be really fucked if involved person were to ever read it:
heather you stupid fat fucking bitch...youre fucikn stupid and your kinda
crazy as well..
and rita...well youre nice, but youve got some issues. you really should
deal with them. im sorry i fucked up by not ending it when i should have.
on many occassions....
"some times youve gotta let em go"
FIN
post closing addition...gotta fuckin post this picture up as a reminder of
what can ensue.
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