JOURNAL #73- 01/21/2004, 23:17
"The power of the herb (in moderation) does it again :)"
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Ive fiugured it out. this may be one of the greatest moments of the last 8 days
in which i have been comntemplating issues and freaking out and stressing out
and shit
just remember: its all a game...it always is, it always was, and it always will
be.
thats the attitude necessary. throughout it all you gotta have that attitude,
adn thatats what the system is about
she likes me for me
i wasnt thinking or wanting to discuss these things, and i dont like to
she doesnt like to either.
thats why never any response
almost like an (ill give you another chance) type of thing
just have fun, enjoy the time and conversation, and when the appropriate time
comes, shift gears
dont say much, you dont need to. shes expecting it and she wants it. she doesnt
want to negotiate, she doesnt want to discuss. shes just waiting for the it.
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on another note, <HA HA I THOUGHT I MAY LEAVE IT AS "a sons" TO COUNTERACT
MEANIGN KNOWINGS!> response is so true.
it may not be just the girl situation, just everything in general
but also it was the girl situation that may have got me in this mood
i guess ive just felt control of every aspect of my life for a long period of
time up until the last few days.
and now theres been somethin gbothering me, but now ive figured it out., ive set
myself straight and ive determined the attitude i need...remember the feeling
associated with my imagination associated with my previous attitude will be
there, its just that i gotta remember the basic principles. the main principle
being:
irts all a game. its a game to see who can give in to feelings first. up until
then you gotta play by the rules.
no matter what i do, shes always looking for that certain aspect of me that will
put her in trance and settle this once and for all.
in order to get to that point you have to play by the rules. the rules are: do
what it takes not what your emotions say
the emotions come as a byproduct, not a source.
relax, its in the bag, just have patience, have fun, be nice, BE YOURSELF, and
when the times comes, make the move. no need to be afraid. dont test her, focus
on the positive signs, not the negative ones...youll probably see that theres
way way way more positives than negatives. there always has been. every single
time we do anything. is there any negatives? of course theres a little, nothings
perfect. but so much better than most, and really really damn good.
just have fun. shes a fun person.
hell in the future dont be embarassed to mention this thought to others. no need
to be ashamed of it. others shouldnt talk shit about it either. not only is it
not worthy of talking shit about, its just stupid. that says a lot about me as a
person and her as a person, and it only shows other how much i care. plus being
honest about things cann really just boost general morale. the effectscan trail
on into school. into work. into well being.
but just remember: she doesnt want to discuss, shes not comfortable dong so.
neither am i. we have that in common. she likes you for who you are. i like her
for who she is. its a game. you have to know what shes thinking and have to be
able to either outsmart it or just accept it and go with it. there will never be
a completely stable equilibrium. both persons are always is assessing the
situation, and if one feels that the situation is not perfect then the scales
can tip. in this case i have outsmarrted her, but will accept it and let the
scales stay balanced by going with what she seems to want. thats cool. id like
to do that too. i will do that, and let the balance stay and advance forth in
what could very well be something special. now remember ill always b assessing
the situation, but for now the situation looks fine and i dont need to worry.
thats all i got